I believe as a parent, there is always a part of you that feels as if you are failing....maybe you are failing your kids, your expectations of yourself as a parent, or you are just failing life. Chances are...you probably aren't! Nobody does it perfectly and nobody gets it just right. If you think you are, you are fooling yourself and nobody around you.
I think of the scene from Sex and the City. Charlotte had it all. It was perfect. Until her daughter put her grubby little handprints on her white pants...on the butt!
Charlotte broke down, went in the pantry, and had a good cry. Luckily the nanny came. Realistic? Who wears white pants around kids under the age of five? I live in Minnesota, not New York. Plus, I can't afford a nanny. I have in-laws. Not realistic in that sense, but the point is, not everything is always perfect. You need to have a good "crying, while pulling out your hair, with a glass of wine in the other hand" type moment. That's ok. You are human. You are a mom. We all do it.
An example...Last week, I was sick and my kids were eating cereal for dinner with re-heated bacon and using large soup spoons, because nothing else was clean. My worst parenting moment? No... but I felt pretty crappy. Way to start 2014...mom of the year.
This actually leads me up to my worst parenting moment thus far. It happened right before Christmas. Now, if you aren't familiar with my life, I have two kids. Natalie is six and Eli is three. Eli is going through the "I don't have to listen to you, I'm just going to take down my pants and fart on you stage." He's gross. I still love him though. Except on the day I am about to tell you about.
Dealing with holidays, Christmas break, lots of fighting, trying to "get over" depression and family issues, I was already feeling stressed and tired. My husband was working a run of night shifts, so he was sleeping. It was 11:00 a.m. and I already wanted to trade my kids in for a couple of gerbils. Then it happened.
They were supposed to be playing. I heard a crash. Ran from the kitchen, to the living room and what do I see? The goldfish flopping on the wood floor, the clock across the room, the fish bowl with a hole in the side and rocks and water spewing onto the nearly dead fish. I lost it! But first!...I grabbed a bowl and saved the fish, then I lost it some more.
I yelled at Eli in a way I have not yelled in a LONG time. I was hoarse afterwards. What were you thinking, I asked? He told me he climbed up the stairs to grab the clock off the wall and he dropped it on the fish bowl by accident. I knew it was an accident. I couldn't help myself though. I needed a release and he was the only one there. I yelled so loud, I woke my husband. Ross went into Eli's room, who at that point had been punished and all Eli could say was "Momma's really mad at me."
I of course calmed down and we both apologized, but as of late, that is my biggest parenting oops. I don't like being angry at my kids like that. I love them. I want to enjoy them. Most days I do enjoy them. I enjoy them, because they make me happy! They make me smile.
Last night I was going on 14 hours straight with a migraine. I was lying on the couch in tears. What do my kids do? Natalie gets an ice pack and they both crawl up on me and give me hugs and kisses and tell me they love me and tomorrow will be so much better. Little stinkers. I'm doing something right! The sense of compassion they have for others!
Being a mom is tough. No joke. I am a stay at home mom and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. If men could be pregnant and push out a baby, I would let them, so we could share some of that responsibility (mad props single dads), but we all know why they can't.
Just remember, we all have those days. You are not alone. Cheers to you parents! It is a tough job, we chose to do it and just be thankful that you end everyday with your kids still alive! That, my friends, is a good day! A good day to me is getting out of sweat pants! Just keepin' it real!
What is your worst parenting moment? Share below!
MarianneB.
